My work is not about storytelling
You know how when you help someone and then you reflect and you’re like, “grrr I have not been doing that for myself.”
It’s hard to coach ourselves.
I feel that.
I try to come up with my story on why storytelling is so important to me and I hit road block after road block. I have stories to tell, but they don’t seem to fully resonate with my truth and the purpose of my business.
I just recently realized why.
It’s because it’s not really storytelling that I do.
I don’t mean to shock you. I mean… it is storytelling, but not REALLY.
In 2016 I was as a civil engineering in NYC. I’d sit at my desk and picture my life at 60 years old and the thought of still being behind this desk for the next 40 years made me want to drop kick my cubicle walls and scream.
So I did. Metaphorically of course.
That year, at 26 years old, I rode my bike ride across America. I did this ride not to solve my life’s problems. I did it simply because I looooved the way riding my bike made me feel. Riding my bike was freedom. It was childlike joy. I fucking LOVED IT. I wanted more of it. The most amount of it that I could get. Riding my bike 65 miles a day across America seemed like the only reasonable thing to do.
Before I left my mom said, “you’ll either get this out of your system or it will change you forever.”
Mom’s are always right aren’t they? It did change the way I view life.
A day after I finished my bike trip I was in the car with my family watching the California coast roll past the windows wondering what comes next for me. I wasn’t sure. What I did know was that I couldn’t spend a life doing work I had no passion for. I had to continue to commit to pursuing things that pique my curiosity and lean into things that I love. I have to continue living a life with no regrets.
My whole life I have a good boy. Not a great boy. Just good.
I got Bs in school.
Never snuck out to parties.
Senior year, I lead my baseball team in every batting stat… but never played above and beyond to be noticed by any colleges (even though I dreamt of playing for the New York Mets).
I got into a good enough school where I got a great degree in civil engineering and a job at one of the best Construction Management firms in the WORLD. In that job, I did enough for my bosses to love me, but not too much to get any major promotion. I was never going to be, “The youngest at the company to…”
I always did what I was told and I did it just well enough. I was a good boy, never great.
It wasn’t until I rode my bike across America that I did something really great. And it was because I made a choice to do FINALLY do what * I * wanted to do, not what everyone else was doing or what society said was the “right” way to live a happy life. I did something truly for myself for the first time ever. And I did it from a place of love and trust in myself.
Since that bike trip my goal has been to continue to do more things I love because I love them. Not what I should do or because I’m told to do something a certain way. Not because reaching a goal will make me happy, but because doing the thing makes me happy.
So… that’s my story. That’s my truth.
Unapologetically full fucking send on doing things that I love without the need to justify why or being attached to some outcome that I think will make me happy. Doing it because I love doing it.
Storytelling is one of the things I enjoy and it gets to be my vehicle for sharing my journey and inspiring others to do the same (so my audience can feel empowered to tell their story which, in turn inspires their audience people).
There’s a problem though…
I left the corporate world to pursue my dreams.
My dreams have made me an entrepreneur.
Now, as an entrepreneur, or more specifically, an online coach, I have been unconsciously playing a new game that I’m not sure I ever wanted to play.
I escaped one trap for another.
My greatest desire is to (1) boldly pursue things that I love and that sound scary and fun so I can experience everything this life has to offer and (2) make art to express my feelings and my experiences with the world.
Instead, I have been building a business which has lead me to live a life that I don’t love as much as I could.
The pandemic happened and so I became an online coach. Teaching what I knew about marketing to help people like you grow their business.
I built an identity that tied to my worth to being a business coach.
I have convinced myself that nobody wants to tell better stories if it doesn’t mean they will land more clients.
I have convinced myself that nobody will buy my stuff if I don’t show them the monetary ROI of storytelling.
I’m tired of that narrative.
It’s not what I believe is the best part of storytelling.
What I truly believe is that if you want to tell spectacular stories then live a spectacular life.
Stop making excuses about it not being the right time or that you have no time.
Stop making excuses that you have kids and no money.
It’s such fucking bullshit.
It really is.
Be exactly who you want to be RIGHT NOW by taking bold action as if you are that person now.
You can do spectacular things that are simple.
If you have wanted to take consistent ice baths then it would be spectacular for you to commit to 30 days of ice baths by filling up your tub and dumbing ice from your freezer in there.
Zero cost.
Would take about 5 minutes.
Even people who say they are solution oriented still find themselves making excuses.
They want to make excuses and remain safe.
And I personally fucking hate that.
I hate it so much because I’ve been the biggest culprit.
I’m tired of it.
I’m tired of the bullshit excuse that my business won’t be successful if I promote the personal growth side of storytelling and completely let go of the monetary ROI. It’s just fear.
I’m tired of waiting to do cool shit in my life until I make more money. Or after this launch. Or when the weather’s warmer. It’s just fear.
I’m tired of telling myself I’ll make better videos and tell better stories when I have more time. More fear.
What’s my deepest fear?
I’ve had a deep fear my whole life that if I ACTUALLY FULLY SEND IT on everything that I want and pursue the man I know I can be but I fall short, that that will be the worst fucking thing that can ever happen.
For example, if I go all in on being the BEST storyteller and write a book but my book only sells 100 copies then that means my best effort isn’t very good. That means I’m just some mediocre guy on this earth…. and that reality is gut wrenching.
Once I say that aloud, I realize the duality of my deepest desires and deepest fear.
On one hand I don’t want to live a life of regret.
On the other hand I am deeply afraid my full potential.
Which one is scarier?
I cannot spend the rest of my life never knowing what I’m actually capable of.
In the end, that’s what I’m most afraid of.
It is time to lean into the fears.
Thinking my business will fail if I go all in on making art and STOP positioning myself as a business coach is just a story. But what if it’s the exact thing that creates unimaginable success?
I guess we’ll find out.
My content is going to start to look a bit different next week.
I’m scared of what it might me for business.
I am also insanely excited about how it’s going to feel to finally do what I truly want to do with my account.
My mission hasn’t changed. I love supporting people in speaking their truth online. This is just me publicly committing to practicing what I preach.
Your Story
I have spoken to a lot of you and have coached many people to let go of the old stories. The ones that tell you who you need to be today. Whether it’s a story you’ve created or one that was placed on you. A business coach who says, “you should stop being a personal trainer and become a business coach. That’s what people want.”
It’s time to rebuild the trust you have in yourself. The same trust you had when you 10 years old and dreamed of playing for the Mets and NOBODY could convince you that wasn’t possible.
It’s time to come back to your heart.
It’s the one thing you truly have that is uniquely yours.
What’s it saying?
Who do you want to be so that when your grandkids are sitting on your lap and ask you to tell them a story, you tell them the story of how you pursued a life of your choosing. You tell a story you are madly in love with because it’s yours and you lived it ALL OUT.
That’s a spectacular story.
Let’s get writing.
Love,
Matt
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