About a year ago when I had about 3500 followers, this story got over 500 likes. Today I’m going to breakdown why it did so well.
It’s worth watching because my facial expressions and the dramatic song I chose enhance the feelings of the video, however if you don’t have 60 seconds to watch the video, here is the transcript below as well:
Me: Alright I’m gonna go change
Natalie: Don’t change Mateo, I like you the way you are.
Inner Dialogue: I don’t. I don’t really like the way I am. I wanna be better. I wanna be more committed to my nutrition. I wanna do a better job showing Natalie how much I love her. I want my abilities to be reflected in my Instagram follower count.
I’m also so tired of changing. I’m so tired of the work. It’s exhausting. Always working on myself. Finding my flaws. Uncovering my trauma to meet the parts of myself that aren’t healed and creating a loving relationship with those parts.
Four months after I moved out from my ex-wife she told me, “you’ve changed. I feel like you’re not yourself.” That hurt to hear. Until it didn’t hurt anymore. Until I realize that I’m glad I’m not the same 21-year-old that you fell in love with. I’m glad I no longer work at a job I hate in the city I don’t love. I’m glad I don’t drink as much. I’m glad that I follow the spiritual path. I’m glad I’ve changed. Maybe all this pain of change is actually worth it. I’m happier, aren’t I?
Maybe change is exactly what I like about myself.
The Breakdown
The Conflict
Right away I present a conflict and now you are invested.
Call it a hook if you’d like. I simply want to get my audience to think, “this matters to me.” That’s all a hook is.
My girlfriend says she likes me the way I am and I tell myself, I don’t.
If you have ever had a similar thought about yourself (we all have), then you would be invested into hearing how it works out.
The people who stick around most, especially those who end up commenting, are the ones who are currently in this internal battle right now. Consciously or not, the mind thinks, “this matters to me.”
Specifics
In storytelling, most people leave out the specifics for fear that it won’t resonate.
However, when you think of your favorite movie, the external circumstances are not a lot like your life.
Think about Titanic.
I’m 100% positive you are not a rich debutant taking a boat ride form Europe to America, have fallen in love with a poor artist in just a few days and then the unsinkable boat hits an ice burg, capsizes and you hold that boy’s hand until he dies in the freezing cold ocean.
That is not your story.
But we all know what it’s like (or at least dream of) escaping a boring and mundane life for an exciting adventurous one where we fall madly in love with someone who, on the surface, doesn’t seem like the obvious right choice for us.
But that’s true love, eh? Unexplainable.
Likewise, you may not be working on being consistent with your nutrition or showing your partner more love, but it’s likely you are working on consistency somewhere in your life. You may be struggling somewhere in your relationship.
So you find yourself in my story and you relate.
Once again, you think, “this matters to me,” and you begin to feel seen and less alone in your experience.
A moment…
Stories are not some generalization of life. They are specific moments in someone’s life.
If you’re not describing a moment you’re not telling a story, you’re offering an anecdote.
Take Titanic again.
It’s not a general story about love, class-conflict and tragedy.
It’s a specific moment at the dinner table where we witness the class-conflict between rich and poor.
It’s specific moments of intimacy and falling in love.
Dancing in the cellar bar and connect.
Jack paints Rose in the nude like one of his French girls.
They stand at the bow of the ship, arms raised out, bodies pressed together, and they feel like they’re flying.
*cue Celin Dion*
If Titanic weren’t a 3 hour movie, but a short form piece of content, I would tell the story of the night at the bar in one reel. Then that time the poor artist painted me nude for another reel. Overtime my content would tell the story of my life lessons.
In my reel, I offer you a moment in my life where my ex-wife told me “I’ve changed” and that hurt my feelings until I realized it didn’t.
… of change
In every great story, the main character changes.
- They were once this and are now they are this
- They once saw the world this way and now they see it this way
- They once felt this saw and now they feel this way
At the beginning I presented you with a conflict. I don’t know that I like the way I am.
Then I took you on a journey of why I feel this way and how I’d like to change, but I am exhausted of always changing.
But then I remember this moment I had with my ex-wife that reframed what it means to change and realizing my constant evolution is the most beautiful thing about me.
[Positive] Resolution
The videos ends with me resolving the open loop of both “not changing” and “not liking myself” in a positive manner.
Not all stories have to end positively and they don’t always close the loop.
However, I am of the opinion that if you are creating content to create change in the world (and to run a successful business) it’s beneficial to share stories that position you as a leader. Not someone who is constantly struggling or has all these. unresolved issues. (Take it from me. I’ve tested this theory and the content I share where I am not in a fully empowered state may get engagement, but it doesn’t help the business)
Also, yes, there are some movies that don’t close the loop. These movies typically leave a lot of people upset and frustrated. There is also the small crowd who love the artistic decision to end a movie open for interpretation. That is a conscious artistic decision by the writer or director. Again, with short form content on social media, I recommend closing the loop and leaving your audience feeling satisfied with a positive takeaway. Most people aren’t scrolling through IG because they are looking to pause for 10 minutes to solve a riddle.
I hope you enjoyed the breakdown this week!
Thanks for being here,
Matt
PS – I am launching a brand new podcast called StoryGrowth!! If you love a good podcast you can check out the 2 minute preview by clicking below. The first episode will be live in a few weeks. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it!
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