A few weeks ago I wrote:
I don’t think what makes you happy is just doing what makes you happy.
What makes you happy is getting better at what makes you happy.
I’ve had a few conversations lately with people at tennis stating that it’s impossible to not improve as long as you show up consistently and have the intention of improving.
Even if you didn’t watch tutorials on YouTube.
Even if you didn’t practice drills.
Even if you didn’t hire a coach.
It would be impossible to hit 1,000 tennis balls and be worse than when you started as long as you have those two things.
Consistency and a genuine intention to improve.
Now, imagine the opposite.
Showing up consistently with the intention to play poorly.
You’d intentionally hit the ball in the net or over the fence. You might even just flat out swing and miss.
What would even be the point to that?
That would be the least fun thing you could do with your time.
It seems so obvious, right?
If you saw someone doing that you’d probably ask them, “Why do you even come? You could do anything with your time, why show up to play tennis everyday like a miserable fuck?”
Maybe the only acceptable response to someone acting that way would be, “I’m obligated to be here. My parents said I have to play a sport. So here I am.”
“Oh I see. Okay then, if you have to be here, why not spend your time getting better? Do you think that’d be more fun or less fun?”
“But trying to get better requires more work,” he combats.
“I don’t know if that’s true,” I offer. “It seems quite exhausting to be miserable for an hour. Maybe all you need to do to make this more fun is to show up with a new intention. Instead of being committed to disliking this obligation, what would it be like if you simply chose to get better at this obligation. I’m not even saying you have to like it. Just choose to get better each time you show up.
In fact, I don’t want you to think about what you have to do to get better at all. Don’t even think about why you hit a ball out or in the net. All you have to do after every shot is just remember, I am getting better. Would that be more fun or less fun?”
“More fun,” he agrees.
He would get better. And he would have more fun. He may even start to like it.
I have had a lot of clients so committed to hating content creation and social media, but they say they “have to” do it.
It hasn’t been working for them so them so they dig their heels in with their hate which is perfect because their friends also hate social media so now we all have a shared sense of safety and belonging in this group of social media haters.
It’s safer to continue to complain about social media because then at least you have an excuse for why you’ve been plateaued for years. “Whatever, I don’t even like it!” you justify.
If you liked it, it’d be embarrassing that you’re still stuck at 1,240 followers.
“But fuck,” you secretly think, “I wish I had 10,000 followers and tons of comments and I could launch my product with confidence that people would sign up for it and I’d sell it out!”
But you can’t own that!
Why?1?!
It seems so obvious with the tennis example, but you cling so hard to your hate of social media.
If you own your commitment to getting better and you actually do get better, you risk losing that bond with your friends. Maybe they’ll be jealous and won’t like you any more. You’ll lose your friends and be alone.
If you own that, what will it mean about you if you are still at 1,240 followers by next year?
That you’re not actually any good at this work?
No…
No.
You can’t let that happen.
Can you?
What if you belong to a community where everyone stopped playing small?
A community where others are owning their big bold desires and growing and expanding.
A community where it’s energizing to own your desires and your commitment to getting better.
A community where you can voice your fears and lay them all out on the table so they can finally be address, loved, and healed.
Where all of that is celebrated and encouraged.
You are the people you spend time with and in the StoryGrowth Mastermind we are people who want to see you win, because guess what?
We want to win too.
Applications close on October 3rd. Learn more here.
This is going to be the most expansive and fun year of your life.
If you don’t join the mastermind, I hope you at least commit to shift your intention.
It might be all you need.
Release the safety of hating social media so much and just choose to get better.
No more work required.
No video editing tutorials.
No stealing someone’s hook.
Just a commitment that each video is going to be better than your last one.
You’ll know what to do.
If nothing else, I bet that’d be more fun than continuing to hate it.
With love,
Matt
View comments
+ Leave a comment