I was 5 when the first Toy Story came out. As a young boy, I found myself relating to the hero of that movie. I was the courageous an committed Woody who would brave anything—even a bald baby head with one eye attached to metallic spider legs—to get back to Andy. Maybe it’s because I didn’t feel much like a hero at 5 years old, but through Woody, I could be brave.
By the time Toy Story 3 came out I was 20. There I sat, a man (or at least I thought I was at that time) crying to an animated movie as Andy gave away his toys, but not without one last play.
I can feel my heart aching right now. It’s the true sign of growing up. Leaving behind your silly little games and imagination so you can go be an adult.
I think about childhood often, especially in the summer. If I get so lucky, a warm breeze rolls through mixed with the smell of fresh cut grass carrying the sound of children playing. Then my heart drops into my stomach and it begs to be 12 years old in backyard of our suburban home in Connecticut where nothing else mattered but catching a whiffle ball. Knowing mom was inside preparing lunch. Dad was at work to make sure the money was coming in. All I had to do was play.
Is there an exact moment when life changes from pure play to endless responsibilities? Or is it a slow burn?
If there’s a moment, this was it for Andy. And at 20, I couldn’t help but think about my teddy bear Henry and knowing I will never let him go. Henry is ‘Little Matt on Weed Street who loves a fresh grass stain on his right knee while sporting a fully drenched t-shirt on a humid summer day.’
34 and still holding tight
I refuse to let him go.
I think that’s why it hurt so badly to watch Andy do it.
Just moments earlier in the movie the Toys were about to get incinerated at the dump. They held hands in a loving embrace and we, the audience, resigned to say goodbye to our childhood friends heroes forever. It might be easier to say goodbye to something that’s truly gone than something you can still catch a whiff of every once in a while.
This is what makes any movie great. A chance for you to feel seen. To feel less alone. Did any of my friends get what it was like to hold their toys so tightly to their chest and feel so safe and at home? I never asked. But I know Andy gets it. And then, I don’t feel so alone.
However, there is something so special about a Pixar movie. The animation and the voices make you feel like a kid again and the storylines tug at your soul. They make you think and appreciate life. You get a chance to see yourself in such a warm and loving way.
Every Pixar movie is a masterclass of storytelling. That’s why when Emma Coats, Pixar’s Story Artist, Tweets Pixar’s 22 Rules of Storytelling. They go viral.
According to her X bio she wished she called them “guidelines” because (I imagine she’d agree) in all creative work, there are no rules.
I admire Emma so much for this list because she didn’t elaborate on them. They are 1-2 liners that tell you all you need to know. One major thing I am personally working on is shortening up my writing to be more clear and concise. One of my best friends from college told me a quote, “If I had more time, I’d have written you a shorter letter.” This speaks to the idea that it’s difficult to condense your rich feelings and ideas into something that’s simple, short and concise (see #3 below). Sometimes we may see a great tweet from someone we admire and think, “damn that was so simple but so genius. I can do that.” However, I’d remind you, that tweet probably took years to come up with. Even if the line smacked them in the face in the shower, it’s still a culmination of their years of work.
Instead of being overwhelmed with all 22 guidelines, I will share a few of my favorite that relate a bit more to content creation. And since Emma didn’t elaborate. I will… but just a little 😊
**as a reminder, “Content” is anything you put out on the internet. It could be a post, IG story, email, podcast, sales page or email to your sister.
(you can read all 22 rules here)
- You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.
I shared a carousel about my thoughts on this, but it comes down to this: It’s not just about admiration, it’s about relation. Yes, it’s important that you have achieved what your audience wants if they will buy from you, but if you want to build connection then they must know you have struggled the way they are currently struggling. Those details are more important than how much money you made or how much weight you lost. That’s when people feel seen, heard and understood.
- Trying for theme is important, but you won’t see what the story is actually about til you’re at the end of it. Now rewrite.
This is the most helpful tip to create consistent content. You are more than welcome to go into a piece of content with an idea, but what keeps people stuck is NEEDING that piece of content to be about the topic they came in with. Just write and let your thoughts flow. Wherever they take you is not only going to be a better idea, but (if you believe in the collective conscious) it’s probably the thing people need to hear most this week.
- Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. You’ll feel like you’re losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.
As I mentioned, I am working hard on this one, but it’s a great reminder for short form content. When you’re writing or scripting videos. Get really good at deleting stuff (and editing what’s left to make sure it all still make sense). If you are aren’t scripting content (see #6) and just stepping up to the camera, I promise you your first 20-30 seconds can be 3-5 seconds. When speaking off the cuff, most people end up saying things more than they need to. “I remember feeling so alone. My husband left me and there I sat in the empty house. No furniture except the love seat I was in. Then a single tear rolled down my cheek. It was the loneliest I ever was.” Delete one of the “lonely’s”…. and honestly, with a sentence like that, you probably don’t need to use the word lonely at all, we would have gotten it. “My husband left me and there I sat in the empty house. No furniture except the love seat I was in. Then a single tear rolled down my cheek.” See.
A note on editing: Usually when I make unscripted videos they are 3 minutes long. Then most of my editing is deleting. Getting it to 2 minutes and 50 seconds. Rewatching. Deleting some more. And on and one. It’s always better in the end. And if it still sucks, then it probably always sucked and it’s worth re-recording now that I know what I’m actually trying to say.
- Finish your story, let go even if it’s not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.
(1) If you deal with perfectionism, you’ll like this Reel.
(2) Lots of my clients beg for clarity in their messaging. While, I’m there as a guide, the only real way to achieve clarity is to put more stuff out. Think about your life. Did you get here by thinking about what you wanted? Or was it by quitting your job, starting your business, taking on clients, hating a few, loving a few, realizing what you’re truly here to do, changing your bio 14 more times….? There is no perfect. You’ll always make something better.
(3) Nobody remembers what you posted 6 months ago. I’ll prove it. Without looking, reply to this email and tell me what I posted even 1 month ago. You MIGHT remember the flavor of an email or reel. I hope you do. But you certainly can’t recall it perfectly. So let’s ship some work so you can make the next one better.
- Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you’ve got to recognize it before you can use it.
I. LOVE. THIS. RULE.
When you share a story with your audience, you are either sharing a struggle→lesson so they can learn something, or you are sharing your world-views or beliefs. In either case, you are sharing to relate. You have endless stories to share because you have endless memories to pull from. All you have to do is actually spend time and think about why you have held on to this memory. It has shaped you in some way. Figure out what that is, then tell your story. If you can’t figure it out, refer to #2.
PRO TIP: Every story is going from a disempowered state to an empowered state. We lost Andy and we’re scared!! → We made it back and we’re safe and happy!!
- Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, you’ll never share it with anyone.
This is why I highly recommend writing. It’s hard to conceptualize and crystalize ideas or stories in your head. If you want to share thought leading ideas, start writing.
Oh… and while you’re writing… stop googling the questions you have. You already have amazing answers. Trust yourself. Answer your own questions. It’s the only way to become a thought leader.
- Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but it’s poison to the audience.
Boldly take a stance. No, please, I’m not telling you to partake in every political conversation going on. You do need to take a bold and strong stance on what’s worked for you. Your story is your truth. Nobody can say it’s wrong. OWN IT!
For example, I believe moving out of your home state is the most valuable thing you can do in your life. If you haven’t lived outside your home state, I don’t want to hear your life lessons. I just won’t listen. It won’t feel relevant. Pass for me. (I can even take a strong stance on using a spoon for every meal. Fuck forks. (Maybe it doesn’t have to all be so serious))
- Why must you tell THIS story? What’s the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? That’s the heart of it.
Similar to rule 5. In the into of this email, the belief is that I will never let go of little Matt. There is so much fun and healing when I allow little Matt to continue to play, be curious and weird. This gives you insight into the type of person I am. If you relate to my beliefs and world-views we will effortlessly build a deeper connection. And if you don’t, well I don’t really want to hang out with you anyway and I hope you find your people who lift you up and make you feel welcome to be yourself.
Rule #7 – Own that shit.
- If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.
Sharing feelings is where connection lies. Notice in the intro of this email, it’s unlikely you also grew up in Connecticut playing whiffle ball in the back yard, but you did feel the longing to be a kid again, didn’t you? While our external experiences differ, our internal feelings aren’t so different. And don’t be afraid to go a little deeper. Saying “I was nervous” before a big speech doesn’t tell us much—it’s rather obvious. What are you nervous about? And if that thing happens, then how will you feel? Let us inside that sexy little head of yours (or for the somatic homies, let us inside that sexy body of yours).
- What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they don’t succeed? Stack the odds against.
These rules build off each other if you haven’t noticed. It’s very fun. Pulling off the last rule, most people just say, “I was so nervous for that speech, but then I stepped up on stage and began…” But what happens if you botch the whole thing? Do you get fired? Have to shut the business down? Will you lose your family?
If we are still listening to your story, we have found ourselves in it. We are relating to you. By telling us what’s at stake you it (1) gets us to relate to you more because that might be what’s at stake of us and (2) we will root for you even more because we want to know success is possible for us even against all odds.
- No work is ever wasted. If it’s not working, let go and move on – it’ll come back around to be useful later.
I have so much content scripted out that never sees the light of day because I don’t want to post ideas that simply don’t resonate. Instead of posting something even when you feel deep down that you don’t really like it, let it go. It’s not wasted time so don’t beat yourself up over it. By getting it out of your head, you’ve allowed yourself to move on to the next thing. It also may be the thing that ignites the next best idea (see rule #2). Finally, it may come back around to be useful in a few months or even a few years. Don’t delete it, store it somewhere safe (and searchable so you can find it. That’s why I love my Content Hub)
- You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.
All content is testing. Everything you put out is to see how it lands. Didn’t land (get as much engagement) as well as you thought, now you have a chance to make it better, more clear, or to trash it. Or did you nail it and everyone loves it? Make more of that. Say the same thing, but say it differently. Whether the topic lands or doesn’t isn’t so important. Go ham on this topic and have fun playing with words, stories and ideas so long as you love it and it brings you joy.
- Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How do you rearrange them into what you DO like?
This is great for ideation in 3 ways.(1) If you see a piece of content you wish you created. Steal like an artist. As a photographer I tried copying photos exactly. As a personal trainer, I stole group workouts from other gyms and made modifications. It’s the fasted way to devleop your own style.(2) You can also take that content you loved and break it down. What do you love about it? Why? As you journal on it, you may come up with your own work of genius.(3) Knowing what you dislike allows you to take a stance for what you do like (see rule #7). I recommend not making content that is hating on something. Instead, take your bold stance for what you do love and why.
This was really fun for me and I hope you enjoyed it.
With love,
Matt
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